Thursday, January 21, 2010

Guilt Trippin'

So, as i mentioned, I went back to work part-time. It's kind of a weird feeling. I am so used to feeling like my job was my life. I really don't feel like that anymore. I appreciate having a job and being able to make some money while still being home 5 out of 7 days. But, I feel like I can leave my work at work. I don't spend too much time thinking about work issues when I'm home. Which is REALLY unusual for me. But anyway, that's not what this post is about. This is about GUILT!

My office is literally on the other side of a wall of the day care. Now, my little one isn't in the day care because my mother-in-law stays with her. So I'm not even straining to hear if the little cries are coming from my love bug. But I still sit there and obsess about the crying. It just makes me think about my baby so much more. I find myself spending almost my entire day out of the office because I get sad. I know my daughter is fine, and I love the giant smile I get when I walk in the house. But my arms literally ache to hold her during the day. Is that guilt or weakness? I'm still trying to figure it out.