Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Time to Vent...

Being a mom is seriously the best job in the world. There is nothing I would rather do than play with  my daughter, hold her when she cries, watch her when she sleeps. But the trouble is that you can't just be a mom. You can't devote your entire day to your child... even though they deserve it... and sometimes demand it.

My daughter is a little over two and at the age where she does play independently for periods of time and will sit and watch an episode of Mickey Mouse without a peep. But she wants me to play with her. And she gets frustrated easily. And she is always wanting things just out of reach and needs me to get it. And she tests her boundaries. And she's getting more adventurous and climbing. Yes... all these things add up to me not being able to go too far from where she is or getting to involved in any other task that requires time.

Basically I can't make phone calls... she will scream while I'm on the phone. I can't vacuum.... terrified of the vacuum. I can't take a shower... hates to be contained in the pack n play. I can't blog... she is literally hanging on my arm saying "momma" as I type this. I can't fold laundry.. it ends up all over the house as she "helps" me. I can't eat.... she wants whatever I am having.

There are a lot of things that I can't do these days. I don't mind... because time with my daughter trumps anything else. But now I have to live with the frustration that my house is a mess. I clean bathrooms at 11:00 at night when I'm exhausted. I spend way more time in my pajamas than any woman should. My husband would gladly take my daughter as soon as he gets home from work so I can clean or shower. But then I am missing the small 2 hour window that we are all together and everyone is awake.

All of this adds up to guilt, frustration, a messy house, a to-do list with nothing checked off, and unnecessary freak outs by me. Does anyone out there have any words of wisdom? How do you make it all work?

12 comments:

They Call Me Muse said...

You've just joined the billions of us who feel the same way lady!!! Sometimes, you just gotta do what you have to do. If it means a cranky 15 minutes in the pack so you can wash 3 days worth of mess of you, then it has to be done. My fiance works out of town during the week, and not only do I have 3 of my own, but I take care of 2 kids for 12 hours a day as well. Just because youre at home doesnt make ANYTHING easy

Lara said...

So true! I know I need to just grin and bear it. After all, I am the adult here.. haha. But it's so hard. Sometimes I feel like the laundry isn't worth the screaming and tears. But in the long run... I have to do it and she has to learn that there are other things to be done. Thanks or making me feel better!! I give you major props for handling 3 plus some!!

Emmi said...

Story of my life! I'm right there with you. It's so hard to balance everything. I know you just put Leah into daycare but I also know how that doesn't really free up time. I feel like when I pick the kids up I need to spend quality time with them and when they are in school I have to run and get all the errands done so the house is neglected. Maybe we just need more hours in the day.

anyways, don't worry. we're all right there with you and if you didn't feel this way I would wonder what's wrong with you! LOl. It just goes to show how great of a mom and wife you are! =)

Gianna said...

I wish I had some words of advice. I'm pregnant with my 6th and most days i'm up really late at night getting work on the computer done, laundry, dishes and whatever else needs to be done. Some days I end up in bed at 4am. I made breakfast for everyone this morning and my twins took turns with me eating off of my plate after they had theirs LOL. They didn't want my home fries at least ;) That is life..

Lara said...

Oh ladies, thanks for letting me know I'm not alone! I know it's totally worth it as our kids are amazing! But it's so true.. there are not enough hours in the day!

Maple Leaf Mommy said...

No words of wisdom, though if anyone else has advice I'm all ears. You just described my daily existence to a tee. The only way i get to blog is by staying up stupid late, and as I type this my 16 month old is fussing on my lap.

Lara said...

Isn't it amazing? I used to have so much time to blog... and now I can't seem to find any.

Mom vs. the boys said...

sometimes being a stay at home mom makes you feel like a prisoner in your own home. it sucks. it's okay to say it. remember, this too shall pass.

Lara said...

Very true! Sometimes the days are very, very long. I love it, but it can be really tough.

emmy's closet said...

Lara...I could have written that word for word myself! I wish I had some advice, I try to take it day by day and have a big glass of wine at night! :) Hang in there, you're a great mom!

Jenerally Speaking said...

Don't feel guilty! My girls have and are (youngest) going through this phase. She's about the same age as my youngest and they are also going through seperation anxiety - doesn't matter if your in the same room as her or not. You have to also show her that it's okay for her to have 'alone' time within reason - with my daughter sometimes i have to walk her to the kitchen show her that Mommy will be right here doing dishes while she plays. She can find me at any time, then walk her back. It's a constant battle but promise it's just a phase. It gets better! Thats exactly why i don't get on the computer often. I love being a stay at home mom but sometimes i wonder if i'd get more done working outside the home, lol.

Lara said...

Thanks ladies! Your words of encouragement and letting me know that you totally understand are more helpful than I can say!