Today we had to take our daughter for her one year blood work. I did so much research and talked to so many mommies to try and figure out if it was really necessary for me to take her. The thought of holding her down through the tears to poke her with a needle literally made me sick. But after some discussion my husband and I decided to go ahead with it and play on the safe side.
I told my husband that I couldn't do it. I couldn't be the one to hold her down... so he had to come. He was totally fine with that and said it would probably be better for her to not see me since I would be a mess. So we all went and I got her all signed in and asked a couple of questions... and then I left.
I wonder if it was wrong for me to leave... but I just couldn't do it. My husband brought her in and they got my favorite technician (yes, I was there so much during my pregnancy that I had a favorite technician). They were in and out in a few minutes and when they came out she wasn't even crying.
I asked how it went and if she cried. Of course the answer was yes she cried. But he said she cried more from being held and restrained than from the needle. My little trooper! So here we are in the parking lot... it's all over... and I burst into tears. Why?
I think this whole experience was harder on me than it was on her. Being a mom is hard.